After a forty-month hiatus, I have resurrected my blog from the rotting pile of bits that it has been since 2006. I already have a few ideas on what I will be writing about in upcoming posts as well as thoughts and inspirations on how to make this version (five point one) better than the previous (four point oh). Feel free to admire the shiny new theme (oooooh) and check out the brand new platform (aaaaah) that I’ve used for my blog reincarnate.

What rants, ramblings, and recitations will I’ll be brave (stupid) enough to post for the world to see? My writings will lean towards exposition or argumentation rather than description or narration¹, at least initially. You’ll come to either appreciate or despise my liberal use of parentheses, but I’ll save the long tangents for footnotes². That, of course, assumes you ever come back. I’ll understand if you don’t. Really. No hard feelings. No “What do you mean you didn’t read my blog post from twenty minutes ago? WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” Promise.

So I hope you enjoy the content that is to come. I’d rather not embarrass myself by writing drivel that no one likes. Because if that happens, I’ll be writing this post again in another forty months. You’ll see me make big promises using words worth more than the thoughts expressed with them. And you’ll say to yourself, “ugh, not again…” and write me off like you would an infomercial at two in the morning promising washboard abs in just THREE MINUTES A DAY! Come on. Everyone know it takes at least five minutes per day to get rock-hard abs. What will those pitchmen try to sell next?

¹ Rhetorical modes.

² I’ve noticed a few things that occur when people put a lot of stuff in between one pair of parentheses. One, the long thought either doesn’t belong in parentheses, or it should have been saved for later (using a footnote like this one) since it kills the flow of the main subject matter. Two, when you get to the closing parenthesis, you’ve forgotten where the opening one was or that there even was one. Three, the writer forgets he wrote an opening parenthesis four sentences back and totally forgets to close it himself.